We know you want it. You need a good shred, but maybe the budget is a little light right now. Well, because you honored us and the life changing work we do here at App Shredder HQ, by subscribing to Shred Up, we are going to give you 20% off your order of any level shredding!b We’ll also give you a fantastic new Get Shredded T-Shirt, just for the privilege of holding on to your email address. I promise we won’t drool over it more than a couple of times a day. It’s so pretty….
heh, well then now let’s get back to business. What’s it gonna take to get you to get your app right? Complete and utter failure in the app store? 5 gazillion 1 star reviews? How many fake accounts are your going to set up responding to those cheese dicks with 5 star review? How much is your time worth? How many hours of coding or selling or marketing will you get back when someone can tell you what you f’ed up? That’s why we are here.
- We save you money!
- Save your time!
- Save your life!
- Free Willy!!!
So what’s next? Click the button, fill out the form, and send us all your rubles! If you need to reach us after that, we’ll be on a beach in Sierra Leone…. or something. Not really… we prefer the Caribbean… Doh. OK, here’s the real poop. We are going to get your money and then we are going to login or download your app and then we are going to become enraptured and obsessed with all the brilliance you created (or we’ll vomit all over our screen). Just kidding, not really. Ok, OK, just kidding about that not really or was it the Just kidding…. Ugh!
OK, here’s what really happen…